I have been working hard for months to bring a doula training to Chico.  Why, some might ask (my husband included!)?  Why would I want to bring in more competition?  I guess my reasoning there would be, so women in my community have more options about the doulas they are able to select from.

I often hear things from people like, "I would love to be a doula, but ___________."  The answers that fill that blank are things like, I have never given birth, I already have a full-time job, I have little ones at home, I am too old, I am too young, etc.

At the end of the doula training yesterday, as a closing exercise, the women were asked to say why they would be good doulas.  The very last woman, who was also tending her on-the-run baby for just the few last minutes of the training, said  -- very passionately -- "Because I want to!"  This wasn't an answer we might expect from a toddler who is asked why he is kicking the dog, but instead, it was a woman's firm, known, felt desire surfacing as she examined what it was within her that would allow her to be truly present for a woman during labor and birth.  And I cannot wait to work with her!

Self-examination is a good tool.  This can come in handy when looking at why you might want to start down the doula path.  Visiting the DONA site gives many answers to the common questions women have when they consider what it would take for them to become a doula.  Other great places for answers can be online doula websites, real doulas already working in your community, and books, such as "The Doula Book," and "The Birth Partner."

I have heard this before:  "I can't hire that doula, she has never had a baby."  While this can be a very important to a family as they are selecting a doula, upon further examination, it is not hard to see where the logic can breakdown:  Simply, a woman who has never had a baby is potentially bringing less baggage to birth than a woman who has experienced birth and formed personal opinions about what makes it good and bad.  Also a bonus, a woman who has not given birth likely has less entanglements at home which might complicate her life as a doula.

Of course you can be a good doula no matter what your background -- no babies, cesarean births, or 10 kids all born at home -- because essentially, helping a woman through her own experience of birth has nothing to do with me.  This is not my show, these aren't the choices I would make for myself, this is not the baby I  will raise and love for the rest of my life.  This is her experience, and my job is not to judge -- my job is to offer her information, support, and caring as she makes the decisions that are the best for her, her baby, and her particular labor/birth.

So, it doesn't matter who you are and what you have experienced, it only matters that you want to help, and that through training, intuition, and instinct, you know how to provide that help without imposing or inserting your own agenda, but that you have the ability to care for this woman, walking alongside her and her partner, as they navigate their road together.

A few places you can find more answers:

DONA's FAQ
So You Want to Be a Doula?
Mothering Magazine's Forum for Birth Professionals

I often think about how hard it is to be a mother.  It is hard!  It is not fun.  It is a lot of constant battles.  It is a lot like herding sheep, catching greased pigs, feeding horses apples with your hands flat so you don't get bit, training monkeys, and taming lions, not necessarily in that order.  I do love my job as a mother, don't think I don't, but man, it is so hard! 

When I get sick, I don't get a lot of slack.  There are still diapers to be changed, laundry to be washed, meals to be cooked, babies to be nursed, etc., etc., etc., etc.  Yes, I put a lot of  those in there, because so often all those mundane tasks of motherhood fall under the "Etcetera" category.

I was watching the New York Marathon yesterday.  The announcer was talking about the woman in the lead, Paula Radcliffe.  She has a little toddler baby girl named Ila.  The announcer said Paula often chants Ila's name at the homestretch to keep herself running.  He also mentioned little Ila would be at the finish line, waiting for her mommy. 

As soon as Paula stepped across the line, little Ila came flying out from somewhere, happy to see her mama.  Little Ila ran up to Paula and stretched her arms up to her mother.  Paula had looked exhausted, of course -- her whole last mile she looked jagged and a bit out of sync -- but none of that mattered as Paula scooped the little girl up and into her arms.  After a few seconds she put the girl down, but that wouldn't do for Ila.  So up into Mommy's arms again she was brought, with no thought to how tired her mom must be, only the need to be in her mom's arms. 

So yes, I close with (and excuse my stealing), Motherhood:  The Hardest Job You'll Ever Love (when your kids are asleep).

More good ideas about motherhood:

-9 Reasons Why I Like Being a Mom
-21 Ways to Enjoy Being a Mom
-Stumbling into Motherhood