The excitement that surrounds an expectant mother starts building as soon as the good news is shared.  As her burgeoning belly grows so does attention from others.  Baby’s arrival brings relatives, friends, and neighbors…at first.  But as the much-awaited birth comes and goes, so do the people.  Often this can leave a new mother feeling isolated, tired, and depressed.

In some cultures, the new mother is relieved of her daily duties and attended to for up to 40 days postpartum.  Special restorative foods are brought to the mother, she is taken care of by members of her family, and her sole responsibility is to bond with her new baby.  This is known as a babymoon.  In our culture, 40 days after birth typically sees the end of a mother’s maternity leave!  

You can help meet a new mother’s needs simply by using your heart and your hands, and sometimes your ears.  Never expect to just plop in and be entertained – always ask what you can do to help.  Often mothers have reservations about letting you pitch in with cleaning or laundry.  If this is the case, place a simple list numbered 1, 2, 3 on the refrigerator.  Ask her to write down three things she would feel comfortable accepting help with.  The next time you visit, glance at the list and get going!  If she insists life is great, do something unexpected for her.  Bring her a pot of homemade soup and some warm bread.  Drop off a new pair of pajamas for her, or the baby, or both!  Demonstrate your active listening skills by summarizing her shared feelings and suspending your judgment, offering suggestions only if she asks for your opinion.   

I have the fortunate opportunity to nurture and support pregnant women during their experiences of pregnancy and birth.  I have noticed the mother who functions well, feels good, and exudes confidence early in the postpartum period is the mother who continues to be blessed with help and visits from her extended supporters.  Babies bring joy, but they bring demands as well.  By meeting the needs of the new mother in your life, whether she is a friend, a neighbor, or your own daughter, you are enabling her to better care for and meet the needs of her own baby. 

Three things that can help after the baby comes:

-Postpartum Support International
-How to Have a Happy Baby
-Operating Instuctions

With three little boys, a husband, running out at wild hours to help women have babies, teaching childbirth classes once or twice weekly, leading a breastfeeding support group, and then doing all the normal stuff one needs to do at home, I sometimes feel like a spoke on the wheel of the bicycle of my family’s life. I see myself, spinning around and around and around, the playing card taped to the rim making an annoying ‘clack, clack, clack,’ sound like the Big Wheel on The Price is Right.

I am not complaining, I am happy. I can’t imagine things being any other way. I just feel...very busy. Blessed -- and very busy.

Topics you may come to view will probably center around my family, my birth adventures/insights, and the music I hear at the grocery store. Yes, a random assortment of various and sundry minutiae.

Three things that might help you get to know me:

-The Greatest Band that Ever Lived
-A Fun Place to Buy Things
-My Favorite Place to Hang