Q.  What is your feeling about taking clients that have the same due date?

A.  I would actually prefer to have two clients with the same due date, as opposed to having clients with a two-week space between due dates.  It is speculated that only 5-10% of babies are born on their actual due dates -- that is maybe one out of ten women, so the chances of two women, with the same due date, having their babies at the same time is even less than that.  On a personal note, I have only ever had back-to-back/same-day births with clients where I thought there was a safe distance between due dates, but babies come when babies come -- they don't often get the memo about due dates.

Once a client of mine had a cesarean two weeks early for a medical issue (about 2 pm), and another client had her baby the same day (her due date), 6 minutes before midnight.

Second time I had a client go two days early; my back-up doula had a client go 18 days overdue (my back-up had to leave on day 16).  My back-up's client (whom I was now the doula for) was in the hospital working on day 2 of an induction.  My client went into spontaneous labor, and actually had her baby at about midnight.  Before I left, I went to pop into the other family's room, but their nurse assured me they were sleeping.  I geo home (35 minutes away) and barely fell asleep, when the phone rang.  I ran back to the hospital, very sleepy!  Baby was born about 12 hours later around 3 pm.

Third time I had a client go 16 days past her due date, and another client went a couple of days early.  Over-due mama delivered at about 10 pm; early mama called me at 1 in the morning stating her water broke.  Back to the old grindstone!

A few things you should know about due dates:

-What Goes in a Due Date?
-When is that Baby Due?
-ACOG Guidelines for Induction

The first thing that I'd want to do...

Okay, just kidding. Today I learned of a product called "Liquid Trust." It is an oxytocin spray that is supposed to help people trust you. It is advertised to people looking for love or that job promotion. I watched intently, waiting for the woman to state that it is a hormone released during orgasms and breastfeeding, and that it is the hormone responsible for the contractions which bring babies forth, and then the initial feelings a mother has which bond her to her baby. She mentioned the contraction part and the bonding part, but not the breastfeeding or orgasm part.

There was a doctor/researcher there who was integral in studying oxytocin. He administered oxytocin to hundreds of people and recorded what happened. He said it does help people feel more comfortable and trusting, but he said they need about 2 teaspoons in the brain to get that feeling, and that this spray 1) Would not be able to provide the amount needed by the brain, and 2) This is a substance regulated by the FDA, and where is this company obtaining their oxytocin? This company should be investigated.

The woman doing the promoting said it was a synthetic of oxytocin, which in the birth world we know as pitocin, so naturally I wondered if that is actually what they are using? If so, maybe they are just getting ahold of the bags they use in the hospital all the time? Heck, I might be willing to swipe a bag, saturate my clothes, and see if I strike it rich in money or love!

Okay, technically I have to say (in disclaimer mode) I have already struck it rich in love. Ahem. But money, on the other hand -- the verdict is still out on that one.

I am an avid blood-donor -- when the Bloodmobile shows up, I am out there, ready to give away a pint of my blood for a $5 coupon to the movies. If this company is interested, I would be willing to offer my own oxytocin for sale -- why not!? As a nursing mother I should have plenty to spare. Perhaps I will contact them and see if they are interested. After all, I am a cheap date!

Additional fascinating facts about oxytocin:

-The Two Faces of Oxytocin
-Hug the Monkey
-Breastfeeding Trust Hormone Clue

Well at least my Spiderman. More like Spiderbaby. I wish my camera hadn't died yesterday or I would take an evidential picture. My Spiderbaby is nursing as I type this.right.now.

Jonas decided to wear his Spiderman outfit today -- you know, sometimes your alter-ego needs to come spend a leisurely Saturday at home, all suited up and ready for respite. It looked smashing with his black cloggy-crocky sandals. 
 
Having three boys around, we get a lot of dress-up (wonder if there is a more masculine term for that -- fierce-pretend-costuming?) around here. Some days we have one or two Batmans. Occasionally a Robin. An appearance by Dark Lord of the Sith Himself, Darth Vader, isn't unusual, generally wanting help with shoe-tying or locating his Crayolas, (you know how hard it is to find stuff when you have a mask on your face). We have been surprised by a visit by the Red Power Ranger, a Little Green Man (Toy Story), and a werewolf. Periodic other guests have been a well-dressed (and dare I say well-behaved!) knight, sans sword (hey, it's a sad story, but it's safer this way), an army guy, an alligator (maybe a crocodile, it's hard to tell what kind of snout that is, being made of cloth), and various caped crusaders. 
 
I heard a story once about a girl who competed in pageants. She had a lovely crown to show for her achievements. She told her college roommate, "Sometimes I have days where I just feel like wearing my tiara. I bring down the box, unpack the tiara, and place it on my head -- immediately life seems better." Her roommate, being about the furthest thing from a girl who would ever enter a pageant (not for looks, more philosophy and interests), seemed to really understand that. The roommate nodded slowly, and the girls bonded. Or perhaps the roommate was hypnotized by all those sparkling jewels... 
 
Regardless, the need to cast off or aside our regular, everyday personalities and assume something more interesting, something more grand, mysterious, extravagant, and super-heroish, probably lives in us all. 
 
Here's to our inner Superheros! Long may those capes wave!

Some Ways Breastmilk is Like a Super Power:

-Good for Bats...and Birds!
-Putting Down an Inferior Product
-What Big Brother has to Say

It's always a good feeling when you get to save the day. Today my oldest was putting together a model of a Mini Cooper and he lost a main piece. He was upset already because his baby brother was trying to get in on the action of putting the car together, and naturally my oldest thought my youngest was to blame for the missing part.

Yelling, crying, a general freaking-out then ensued. I thought I would use some of my new skills picked up from a book called "Tongue Fu," and instead of telling my oldest he "should have" been sitting at the kitchen table instead of his bed, I asked him "Can you think of another place you could put that together, where the baby won't be in the way?" After a thoughtful moment he said, "The kitchen table." I glanced down under his bed and picked up a model piece -- the very one that was missing, and my son happily collected his car parts and relocated to the table.

Viola! If only it were always that easy!

I got a call Tuesday morning from a mother who had a baby Saturday. Her nipples were sore, she wasn't sure her baby was getting anything or nursing right, and she was sobbing into the phone that the pain was so bad she didn't know if she could continue. I learned she lived close to me, so I asked her if I could come over? "You would do that?" she asked. "Sure thing, it's a slow morning, my baby's still asleep, and my husband is here to hold down the fort."

I could hear her baby crying as I knocked on the door. Dad let me in and showed me back. We got the baby to suck on her finger so Mom and I could chat about the situation. He calmed, sucking away, and we talked about what she thought was going on.

Soon we got the baby latched, and -- surprise -- there was no pain! Her left breast was still pretty tender, so she was going to pump on that side for a while and try him later in the evening there. She held her drunk-with-milk-for-the-first-time baby, and was in awe over his relaxed stated. "I have never seen him like this!" She absolutely beamed. He seemed pretty beam-y, too :).

As I got ready to leave, she said, "You are amazing! Thank you so much for coming to help us. I was ready to quit." It would be lovely to take all of that and leave. It feels better for Mom, in the long-run though, to remind her I helped just a teensy bit with some logistics -- she and her baby did/have-done/will-continue-to-do all the work.

Ways to help save the day:

-When Your Friend has a Baby
-When Your Daughter has a Baby
-When Your Partner has a Baby

Or...

My first Root Canal!

I was ushered into the exam room, and an assistant came in, touched my arm, and said, "Hello. Can I get you anything?" She held her hand on my arm for more than a second before she moved across the room. I had the thought, "She could be a doula."

She was my mom's age, shortish, roundish, with long brown hair. For reading material, I packed an article on "Non-Pharmaceutical Pain Relief." She saw what I was reading and asked about it, thinking it pertained to my dental visit. I shared that no, I was a childbirth educator, and my class that evening was on comfort measures and pain.

The dentist walked in and she, too, thought the article looming in my lap was the signal for someone petrified of all-things-dentist. That was when I remember some people really are very frightened of the dentist, like I am frightened of throwing up. I assured her, too, this was just job-related. I told them both I felt my class on comfort measures and pain was getting a little stale, and I wanted to refresh my memory and increase my knowledge.

"You know, it's funny," I started, while these two dental professionals were gathering things together for my wonderful procedure, "Often women say, 'I wouldn't get a root canal without anesthetic, so why would I have a baby without pain medication?'" The dentist asked, "What do you tell them?" "I tell them birth is normal, someone drilling into your tooth isn't." They both laughed -- the assistant with her birth wisdom, and the dentist with her root-canal/tooth-drilling wisdom.

As I laid practically with head in the dentist's lap, she slowly and methodically started shooting my gums up with anesthetic. "Oh, you are doing great. If anyone should be able to relax for this, it's you. Excellent work." She continued to brag to the assistant about me and how wonderful I was coping. I thought she may have been yanking my chain a bit, but I still felt good -- if she was trying to distract me, it worked!

She left to give the anesthetic some time to work. The assistant and I started chatting. She said she had 6 children, and that she was something of a legend: She was the first woman in our county to have VBAC after 3 cesareans! She told me she has been with her daughters when they have birthed, and then she sheepishly added, "They have had their babies at home." I smiled as much as my half-numb face could smile (a half-smile?) and shared that if I had another baby, it would only be at home.

We had a lovely chat. She shared her VBAC story with me. Her family and extended family -- friends and children-of-friends -- commonly ask her to help support them through labor. "If I had to do it all over again, I would get into the birth-world." I agreed it was an amazing place to be.

I left with a temporary filling, an appointment for next month, and a renewed appreciation for the awesome opportunities I have as a doula.

Some link-y-poos promoting positive dental health during pregnancy, 'cause I am aabout the good here -- trying to help you avoid a future root canal, folks:

-Is that Advice ADA-Recommended?
-Did You Know this Stuff?  I Didn't!
-Common Myths Debunked

I had a doula birth this weekend. This family was having their second baby; I was with them during the hospital birth of their first daughter almost two years ago. This time they planned a homebirth with our community midwife (whom I love).

I was struck by this couple's groundedness during their first birth. Mom labored for about 5 hours, and then had her baby, with no interventions or medications. She never complained, even when it was within her rights to do so. She never said, "This hurts," or "I want this to be over," or "It's hard." She did not utter one complaintive word during the whole birth. It really got me thinking: There are people out there who never complain; they just deal with what life offers them and move through it. Wow.

After their baby's birth, Mom started losing a lot of blood. Her placenta would not release from her uterus and come out. Because of this, her uterus could not clamp down, the process which normally shuts down the full-force of that bleeding. Her midwife tried quite a few tricks before she had to call her supervisory physician for advice. Now, I don't think she really needed "advice," but the way the laws work here, she had to inform him of the situation and see what he recommended. They discussed manually extracting the placenta, and the doc agreed the midwife could try it -- that would keep him home for the time being.

This experienced, well-respected-in-her-field midwife then slowly reached her hand into this new mother's birth canal in hopes of bringing the placenta down and out. This mom was stoic. With her midwife's hand in her uterus, she did not cry, scream, or make any "normal" sounds one would associate with this very painful procedure. She knew this was work that had to be done. Her husband watched as what her called "rivers of blood," ran out of his wife. After a second attempt at this and still no placenta, the midwife administered narcotic medication to help the mom relax and feel markedly less pain. She also called the doctor back, and he was on his way. The third attempt did not look promising. "Visualize your placenta letting go -- visualize it releasing." Just as the doctor opened the door to the room, the midwife came out of this new mother's uterus, placenta in hand.

21 months later this mother is laboring again. I joined them at about 8 in the evening. We went for a walk, stopping every few minutes to "honor the contractions," as the mother put it. Around 10 the midwife and her assistant dropped by, fresh from another birth. This mother guessed she was about 2-3 centimeters, still in early labor. The midwife suggested we all go home and let Mom and Dad get some rest.

I watched a movie when I knew I should have gone to bed. Then I dawdled around a bit more, getting to bed at 1:15 am. I placed the phone on the windowsill so I could reach it if they called, then I snuggled into my pillow. Just as I shut my eyes, the phone rang. I was back at their house at 1:30.

Mom still wasn't quite in active labor yet, but things were picking up. We moved from a hands and knees position over the couch, Dad holding both her hands and me pressing on her back, to the birth tub, to the bathtub, and then back to the couch. She laid on a mattress on the floor for a while, still being diligent enough to get up and go pee every 30 minutes or so.

At about 5 am Mom decided she wanted to lie down in her bed. She crawled up into the middle, facing her husband, and I laid facing her back. For the next hour, the three of us moved into place when her contractions would start -- I would press on her back, Dad would offer his hands to be squeezed, and Mom would make the noises to cope with the sensation. As her voice tapered off, slowly I would lighten my touch, and Dad would claim his hands back. Then we would sleep. Dad laughed at one point that it was a good thing they had a kind-sized bed. Mom and Dad (can't say for myself!) would both snore between contractions. I knew I was dreaming because I would wake up with other thoughts deep in my mind. But we would shift into action to help support this woman as she moved through this experience of labor.

At about 6 am, Mom said the sensation had shifted, and she felt, at certain points during a contraction, a little like she wanted to push. Although she had a longer latent phase than with her first birth, I imagined once she got close to complete, she wouldn't have to push for very long. I made the call to the midwife, and she was there by 6:30.

Mom was checked and found to be 4 centimeters, almost fully effaced. She decided to "do laps," around the circle of her living room, dining room, and kitchen. This helped the intensity and regularity of her contractions. By 8 she was feeling the urge to push, and the midwife found her to be without any cervix. After a few different pushing positions, the mother eased her baby out sitting on a birthing stool. She was asked to, after the birth of the baby's head, breathe through contractions so the midwife could suction the baby's airway as there had been some meconium in the water. Baby came out, right to Mom's chest, Mom was leaning against Dad and we were all struck by the beauty of such a simple birth.

But only for a moment.

What was said not to happen again did indeed happen. The placenta was not coming out. Through nipple stimulation, herbal tinctures, and finally a shot of pitocin, the placenta stayed tight. This midwife also tried to manually extract it. One, two, three times -- to no avail. Mom was losing blood. It was not critical, but the midwife feared if we got Mom up and out the door to the car, she would likely lose a lot of blood by the time she arrived at the hospital. The decision was made to transport by ambulance. Mom and Dad were calm. They knew this must be done, so they simply got down to business and made the best of it.

Mom went in an ambulance and her midwife followed behind. Dad dressed and diapered the baby, I threw together essential items for Mom and Baby, and then we headed to the hospital, too. The midwife's assistant stayed and began the clean-up.

The doctor-on-call tried to manually remove the placenta twice, and he was going to try one more time, before Mom said, "No, I will go to surgery." They took her back and gave her general anesthesia, and then they were able to fully remove the placenta; the placenta that did its job so well -- too well. Mom and Baby were reunited, and aside from a delay in breastfeeding that seemed made up for later, are doing just fine now.

On the way to the hospital, Dad shared with me, "Having been through this before, I knew what to expect. I also knew she did not lose as much blood this time as she did the first time. I wasn't worried at all."

I asked Mom later, are you still glad you planned a homebirth? "Absolutely. I had a wonderful birth at home and aside from the placenta thing, I wouldn't have changed a thing."

Birth doesn't often go as we plan. We can be in-tune with our bodies and our babies and understand sometimes physical need has to take priority over envisioned ideal. Even if we are caught sleeping on the job.

A few relevant resources for further exploration:

-Homebirth Safe for Low-Risk Women
-Choosing the Right Sized Bed
-Bedsharing with Your Baby (couldn't find anything about bedsharing with your doula, sorry!)

Last Monday I accompanied a friend and former two-time doula client to an appointment with an OB/GYN. She had her babies with CNMs, but at 2.5 months postpartum, she was still experiencing bleeding, and everyone has decided it is time to figure out why. The first thought was retained placenta; luckily she has had no sufferings with her milk supply -- she is even nursing her infant and her toddler, and there is plenty of milk for all. But that the bleeding has not stopped is disconcerting for her and her practitioners.

I digress.

We had to wait for two hours at this particular office. Her baby was happy, and we passed the time visiting as we don't get to hang out sans kids much. We kept watching pregnant mama after pregnant mama enter the office, get called back for her visit, and then leave. Some initiated conversation because of the cute baby we had with us.

One in particular looked young to me. She arrived on her own and immediately started asking about Solana (the cute baby). She said she was a Child Development major. As we chit-chatted about various things, she shared her fears about birth and said she hoped she could do it. My friend looked at her empathetically and said, "Your body was made to do it." This surprised me a bit because my friend had a 63 hour first labor, and on the heels of that she told everyone, "I'm just not made to have babies." Her second birth, the first one I attended, was 4 hours from start to finish. Bang.

She was so ready for another long labor, she had 12 people with her during her second birth. They were ready to start the shifts. She was the first woman I had seen go from 5 to 10 in 5 minutes -- it does happen!

Again, I digress.

So this expectant mother said, "One thing I don't understand: If what I eat and drink get to the baby, why don't the drugs in labor get to the baby?" What a question to ask! I didn't even get any words out of my mouth, but I know my face changed into an "a-ha," expression, before she answered her own question. "I don't believe that. I just had an early infant development class, and we talked all about harmful substances and how things cross the placental barrier. I don't take medication right now and I work hard to treat a headache or illness other ways than I used to. I do not want my baby getting any medication she doesn't need."

Soon after that, she was called for her prenatal visit.

Maybe another time I will share how my friend's third birth was, as they so often say, the wildcard birth. It was an exciting, unexpected change to her other two births, and it left us remembering that each birth, like each baby, is unique unto itself.

Here are a few places that can help you think:

-Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth
-Coalition for Improving Maternity Services (CIMS)
-Lamaze Pregnancy, Birth & Beyond

With three little boys, a husband, running out at wild hours to help women have babies, teaching childbirth classes once or twice weekly, leading a breastfeeding support group, and then doing all the normal stuff one needs to do at home, I sometimes feel like a spoke on the wheel of the bicycle of my family’s life. I see myself, spinning around and around and around, the playing card taped to the rim making an annoying ‘clack, clack, clack,’ sound like the Big Wheel on The Price is Right.

I am not complaining, I am happy. I can’t imagine things being any other way. I just feel...very busy. Blessed -- and very busy.

Topics you may come to view will probably center around my family, my birth adventures/insights, and the music I hear at the grocery store. Yes, a random assortment of various and sundry minutiae.

Three things that might help you get to know me:

-The Greatest Band that Ever Lived
-A Fun Place to Buy Things
-My Favorite Place to Hang